ORD ATC

For those who may not know, ORD is the airport code for Chicago's O'Hare field.  It's a busy place, and home to some of the finest air traffic controllers in the world.  These top 40 real transmissions were collected by, and are reprinted with the permission of, John Carr of NATCA at the old O'Hare TRACON.  Many thanks!

"Expect lower at the end of this transmission."

"Citation 123, if you quit calling me center, I'll quit calling you twin Cessna."

"About three miles ahead you've got traffic 12 o'clock, five miles."

"If you hear me, traffic no longer a factor."

"You got him on TCAS? Great. When you're seven in trail, resume normal speed and call Chicago Center on 120.12."

"I am way too busy for anybody to cancel on me."

"You got any more smart remarks, we can be doing this over South Bend … go ahead."

"You're gonna have to key the mike. I can't see you when you nod your head."

"It's too late for Louisville. We're going back to O'Hare."

"Put your compass on 'E' and get out of my airspace."

"Don't anybody maintain anything.

"Caution wake turbulence you're following a heavy 12 o'clock, three … no, let's make it five miles."

"Climb like you're life depends on it … because it does."

"If you want more room Captain, push your seat back."

"For radar identification throw your jumpseat rider out the window."

"Air Force one, I told you to expedite."

"Listen up gentlemen, or something's gonna happen that none of us wants to see. Besides that, you're (tickin') me off!"

"Leave five on the glide, have a nice ride, tower inside, twenty-six nine …. see ya!"

"Japan Air Ten Heavy, how 'bout a radio check?"
(Response -"Rogah, switching!")

"Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?"
"N923, the faster you go, the quicker you'll get here."

"American Two-Twenty, Eneey, meeny, miney, moe, how do you hear my radio?"

"Air Wisconsin Three-Thirty-Five, caution wake turbulence, there is an Air Wisconsin Three-Forty-Five on the frequency."

"I don't mind altitude separation as long as they're not on top of each other."

"We were told Rwy 9…we'll take out the 14R approach plate."
"Captain you got sixty miles to take it out…have a ball."

"The traffic at nine o'clock's gonna do a little Linda Ronstadt on you."
"Linda Ronstadt? What's that?"
"Well, sir, they're gonna 'Blue Bayou.'"

"I can see the country club down below…look's like a lot of controllers out there!"
"Yes, sir, there is…and they're caddying for DC-10 drivers like you."

"N07K you look like you're established on the localizer and I don't know the names of any of the fixes, you're cleared for the ILS approach. Call the tower."

"MidEx 726, sorry about that, Center thought you were a Midway arrival. Just sit back, relax and pass out some more cookies…we'll get you to Milwaukee."

"Approach, what's our sequence?"
"Calling for the sequence I missed your callsign, but if I find out what it is, you're last."

"Sure you can have eight miles behind the heavy…there'll be a United tri-jet between you and him."

"Approach, SWA436, you want us to turn right to 090?"
"No, I want your brother to turn. Just do it and don't argue."

"Approach UAL525 what's this aircraft doing at my altitude?"
"UAL525, what makes you think it's YOUR altitude, Captain?"

"DAL1176, say speed."
"DAL1176, we slowed it down to two-twenty."
"DAL1176 pick it back up to two-fifty…this ain't Atlanta, and them ain't grits on the ground."

"Request Runway 27 Right."
"Unable."
"Approach, do you know the wind at six thousand is 270 at fifty?"
"Yeah, I do, and if we could jack the airport up to fifty-five hundred you could have that runway. Expect 14 Right."

"Air Force Four-Five, it appears your engine has…oh, disregard…I see you've already ejected."

"The first officer says he's got you in sight."
"Roger, the first officer's cleared for a visual approach runway 27 Right…you continue on that 180 heading and descend to three thousand."

"Hey, O'Hare, you see the 7600 code flashing five northwest of Gary?"
"Yeah, I do…you guys talkin' to him?"

"Approach, what's the tower?"
"That's a big tall building with glass all around it, but that's not important right now."

"How far behind traffic are we?"
"Three miles."
"That doesn't look like three miles to us!"
"You're a mile and a half from him, he's a mile and a half from you…that's three miles."

And the number one actual transmission heard in the O'Hare TRACON is:

"Turn in and take over .. you know the rest."