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Maxim

Wine Enthusiast

All About Beer

Wine Spectator

— Ernest Hemingway

There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.

— Benjamin Franklin

The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will walk carefully.

— old Russian proverb.

Woman: "Sir you are drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Indeed I am madam, but in the morning I shall be sober, whereas you shall still be ugly"

What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

DO RE MI DRINK
by Homer J. Simpson.

DO... the stuff... that buys me beer...
RAY... the guy that sells me beer...
ME... the guy... who drinks the beer,
FAR... a long way to get beer...
SO... I'll have another beer...
LA... I'll have another beer...
TEA... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
That will bring us back to... (Looks into an empty glass)
D'OH!

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink; that's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I like to drink martinis, two at the very most.
Three, I'm under the table.
Four, I'm under the host

I can certainly see you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn't know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.

You'd be surprised how much fun you can have sober. When you get the hang of it.

Just use a little red wine; it will get that club soda stain right out of there.

The custom of saluting [i.e., embracing] ladies by their relatives and friends was introduced, it is said, by the early Romans, not out of respect originally, but to find by their breath whether they had been drinking wine, this being criminal for women to do, as it sometimes led to adultery.

I like to drink wine more than I used to.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

Homer no function beer well without.

To alcohol, the cause of and solution to, all life's problems.

I drink to make other people interesting.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

Drunkenness . . . is temporary suicide.

I often sit back and think, "I wish I’d done that," and find out later that I already have.

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk;
The best of life is but intoxication.

It is not I who become addicted, it is my body.

All sin tends to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is what is called damnation.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.

— Deep Thought, by Jack Handy

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as a drink.

When people drink, then they are successful and win lawsuits are are happy and help their friends. Quickly, bring me a beaker of cider, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink; that's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

Ale is made of malte and water; and they the whiche do put any other thynge to ale than is rehersed, except yest, barme or godesgood, doth sophysticat theyr ale.

— Andrew Boorde's 1542 best-seller, 'A Compendious Regyment or a Dyetary of Helth.'

He was a wise man who invented beer.

— Plato

I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.

— William Shakespeare, 'King Henry V.'

Why, if 'tis dancing you would be,
There's brisker pipes than poetry.
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man.
Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot
To see the world as the world's not.

— A.E. Housman

Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.

— Bishop Still (John)

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

— Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

— Dave Barry

People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.

— Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chambers of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts--queerest fancies,
Come to life and fade away:
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.

— Edgar Allan Poe

For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.

— William Shakespeare, 'A Winter's Tale.'

— William Shakespeare, 'Henry IV, pt. ii.'

Whiskey's to rough,
Champagne costs to much,
Vodka puts my mouth in gear.
I hope this refrain,
Will help me explain,
As a matter of fact,
I like beer.

— Tom T. Hall

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

— Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

— Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

— Dave Barry

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.

— Dave Barry

I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to
celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism
or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.

— Humorist Dave Barry

They who drink beer will think beer.

— Washington Irving

Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think.

— A. E. Housman

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

— Henry Lawson

O Beer! O Hodgson, Guinness, Allsopp, Bass!
Names that should be on every infant's tongue.

— C.V Calverley

'Did you ever taste beer?'
'I had a sip of it once,' said the small servant.
'Here's a state of things!' cried Mr. Swiveller . . .
'She never tasted it -- it can't be tasted in a sip!'

— Charles Dickens, 'Ye Olde Curiosity Shop.'

Hermit hoar, in solemn cell,
Wearing out life's evening gray;
Smite thy bosom, sage, and tell,
What is bliss, and which the way?
Thus I spoke; and speaking sigh'ed;
-- Scarce repressed a starting tear;--
When the smiling sage reply'd --
-- Come, my lad, and drink some beer."

— Samuel Johnson

Doth it not show viley in me to desire small beer?

— William Shakespeare, 'Henry IV.'

Life ain't all beer and skittles, and more's the pity.

— George DuMaurier

Lo! the poor topper whose untutor'd sense,
Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense;
Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer,
Beyond the muddy ecstasies of beer.

— George Crabbe

Oh I have been to Ludlow fair
And left my necktie God knows where,
And carried half way home, or near,
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:
Then the world seemed none so bad,
And I myself a sterling lad;
And down in lovely muck I've lain,
Happy -- till I woke up again.

— A.E. Housman

Gott erfand das Bier damit auch die häßlichen Mädchen hin und wieder gebumst werden.

— German saying

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, The bitter, The lager.
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

-Anon

You foam within our glasses, you lusty golden brew, whoever imbibes takes fire from you. The young and the old sing your praises; here's to beer, here's to cheer, here's to beer.

— A toast in Bedrich Smetana's 1866 opera 'The Bartered Bride'

Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chambers of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts--queerest fancies,
Come to life and fade away:
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.

— Edgar Allan Poe

Let us sing our own treasures, Old England's good cheer,
To the profits and pleasures of stout British beer;
Your wine tippling, dram sipping fellows retreat,
But your beer drinking Britons can never be beat.
The French with their vineyards and meager pale ale,
They drink from the squeezing of half ripe fruit;
But we, who have hop-yards to mellow our ale,
Are rosy and plump and have freedom to boot.

— English drinking song, circa 1757

If all be true that I do think,
There are five reasons we should drink:
Good beer -- a friend -- or being dry --
Or lest we should be by and by --
Or any other reason why.

— Henry Aldrich

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.

— Homer Simpson

— Dom Perignon

My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!

— James Bond in the movie, 'Goldfinger,' 1964.

There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.

— Betty Davis in 'Old Acquaintance.'

Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's a heavy mist before my eyes.

— James Stewart in 'The Philadelphia Story.'

Lili, a sizzler at the Fol-de-Rol. A figure like champagne and a heart like the cork.

— Pontiac in 'Scene of the Crime,' (1949)

Champagne yes, philosophy no.

— Kit Moresby in 'The Sheltering Sky,' (1990)

Cassandra: I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before...

Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French, it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white champagne, even though by definition they're not.

— 'Wayne's World,' (1992)

Confucius once said that plain rice to eat, water to drink, and one's arm as a pillow were quite enough for earthly happiness. Confucius was a wise and gentle soul … but he never tasted champagne.

— Bottled Wisdom, compiled and edited by Mark Pollman, 1998.

In victory, you deserve champagne.  In defeat, you need it.

— Napoleon

My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne.

— John Maynard Keynes

Gentlemen, in the little moment that remains to us between the crisis and the catastrophe, we may as well drink a glass of Champagne.

— Paul Claudel

Ivan: Why do you take aspirin with champagne?
Alice: Oh, champagne gives me a headache.

— 'Author! Author!' (1982)

The great French white wine, Corton-Charlemagne, owes its existence, according to local legend, not to the emperor but to his wife. The red wines of Corton stained his white beard so messily that she persuaded him to plant vines that would produce white wines. Charlemagne ordered white grapes to be planted. Thus Corton-Charlemagne.

— Clifton Fadiman, The Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes.

I'm going to tell you something about Champagne.  Quite seriously.  Only yesterday one of the nurses told me it's very good for your bowels.

— Mordecai Richler, 'Joshua Then and Now.'

— Genesis 9:20

Do not drink wine nor strong drink, thou, nor thy sons with thee, when ye go into the tabernacle of the congregation, lest ye die: it shall be a statute for ever throughout your generations.

— Leviticus 10:9

And the vine said unto them, should I leave my wine, which cheereth both gods and men, and go to be promoted over the trees.

— Judges 9:13

He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth; And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart.

— Psalms 104:14-15

Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

— Proverbs 31: 6-7

"Who hath woe? Who hath sorrow? Who hath contentions? Who hath babblings? Who hath wounds without cause? Who hath redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine.

— Proverbs 23: 29-30

Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works.

— Ecclesiastics 9:7

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging.

— Isaiah 20.1

Forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure.

— Apocrypha, Ecclesiasticus 9:10

Wine drunken with moderation is the joy of the soul and the heart.

— Apocrypha, Ecclesiasticus 31:36

Wine was created from the beginning to make men joyful, and not to make them drunk.

— Apocrypha, Ecclesiasticus 31

No man also having drunk old wine straightway desireth new: for he saith, The old is better.

— Luke 5:39

Drink no more water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine own infirmities.

— 1 Timothy, Chapt 5, Verse 23

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

— Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), Anglo-Irish satirist. Neverout, in Polite Conversation, Dialogue 2 (1738), quoting a proverb first collected in James Howell, Paroimiographia (1659).

Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain,
With grammar, and nonsense, and learning,
Good liquor, I stoutly maintain,
Gives genius a better discerning.

— Oliver Goldsmith, 'She stoops to conquer.'

Candy,
Is dandy,
But Liquor,
Is quicker.

— Ogden Nash

Oh moonshine, oh moonshine
Oh how I love thee
You killed me dear father
But dare you kill me
I'll eat when I'm hungry
I'll drink when I'm dry
And if moonshine don't kill me I'll live till I die.

— Anon

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

— Mark Twain

It's easy to grin
when your ships come in
and you've got the stock market beat,
but the man worth while
is the man who can smile
when his pants are too tight in the seat.

— Judge Smails in the film 'Caddyshack.'

Four blessings upon you...
Older whiskey
Younger women
Faster horses
More money

Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me.

Here's to us,
Wa's Like us?  (Who's Like us?)
(reply):
Damn few,
An' they're deed.  (And they're dead)

— Frank Zappa

BACCHUS, n. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

— Ambrose Bierce, The Enlarged Devil's Dictionary.

CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else. An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him. 'Pauillac, 1873,' he murmured and died.

— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.

Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine, you bring your scarred psyche.

— Chase in Batman Forever (1995)

What is this? Château Guam?

— Carla (Rhea Perlman), 'Cheers'

And little Sir John with his nut brown bowl
And his brandy in the glass
And little Sir John with his nut brown bowl
Proved the strongest man at last . . .

— H. Gorson (1607-1641), last verse of the song 'John Barleycorn.'

Seen in a bar:
If you are drinking to forget, please pay before you begin.

— Thomas Love Peacock

Wine from long habit has become an indispensable for my health.

— Thomas Jefferson

I have lived temperately . . . I double the doctor's recommendation of a glass and a half of wine a day and even treble it with a friend.

— Thomas Jefferson

God made only water, but man made wine.

— Victor Hugo, 'Les Contemplations,' 1856.

By making this wine vine known to the public, I have rendered my
country as great a service as if I had enabled it to pay back the national debt.

— Thomas Jefferson

I think it is a great error to consider a heavy tax on wines as a tax
on luxury. On the contrary, it is a tax on the health of our citizens.

— Thomas Jefferson

Good wine is a necessity of life for me.

— Thomas Jefferson

I rejoice as a moralist at the prospect of a reduction of the duties on wine, by our national legislature. It is an error to view a tax on that liquor as merely a tax on the rich. It is a prohibition of its use to the middling class of our citizens, and a condemnation of them to the poison of whiskey, which is desolating their houses. No nation is drunken where wine is cheap; and none sober, where the dearness of wine substitutes ardent spirits as the common beverage. It is, in truth, the only antidote to the bane of whiskey. Fix but the duty at the rate of other merchandise, and we can drink wine here as cheap as grog; and who will not prefer it? Its extended use will carry health and comfort to a much enlarged circle. Everyone in easy circumstances (as the bulk of our citizens are) will prefer it to the poison to which they are now driven by their government. And the treasury itself will find that a penny apiece from a dozen, is more than a groat from a single one. This reformation, however, will require time.

— Thomas Jefferson

Wine ... the true old man's milk and restorative cordial.

— Thomas Jefferson

There are two reasons for drinking wine.  When you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.  Prevention is better than cure.

— Thomas Love Peacock

God in His goodness sent the grapes,
To cheer both great and small;
Little fools will drink too much,
And great fools not at all.

— Anon.

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy that all the books in the world

— Louis Pasteur.

Drink wine, and you will sleep well. Sleep, and you will not sin. Avoid sin, and you will be saved. Ergo, drink wine and be saved.

— Medieval German saying.

The world needs water. For every bottle of wine you drink you contribute to conserving the drinking water reserves

— Paul Emil Victor (polar- explorer)

Be careful to trust a person, who does not like wine.

— Karl Marx

If a life of wine, women and song get too much, give up the singing

— Anonymous

Red wine with fish. Well, that should have told me something.

— James Bond in 'From Russia with Love,' (1963)

Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."
Man's Quote of the Day: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity, and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age, until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."

The love of wine may almost be classed with the innate principles of our very being.

— Anonymous, The Wine-Drinker's Manual, 1830.

Come, come, good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used; exclaim no more against it.

— William Shakespeare, 'Othello,' Act II, Sc. 3.

In wine there is truth.

— Pliny The Elder [A.D.23-79] 'Natural History,' Book XIV, Sect. 141

"Good wine needs neither bush nor preface to make it welcome."
- Sir Walter Scott "Perveril of the Peak," [1822] Chap. 4

"On one occasion some one put a very little wine into a [glass], and said that it was sixteen years old. 'It is very small for its age,' said Gnathaena."
- Athenaeus [c. A.D.200] "The Deipnosophists," XIII, 47

French wines may be said but to pickle meat in the stomach, but this is the wine that digests, and doth not only breed good blood, but it nutrifieth also, being a glutinous substantial liquor; of this wine, if of any other, may be verified that merry induction: That good wine makes good blood, good blood causeth good humors, good humors cause good thoughts, good thoughts bring forth good works, good works carry a man to heaven, ergo, good wine carrieth a man to heaven.

— James Howell, 1634.

Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.

— Anonymous.

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.

— Ernest Hemingway.

This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

— Samuel Johnson, 1778.

Wine gives a man nothing. It neither gives him knowledge nor wit; it only animates a man, and enables him to bring out what a dread of the company has repressed. It only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.

— Samuel Johnson, 1778

The only good wine is the one you like.

— Lois Stansberry

What is the definition of a good wine? It should start and end with a smile.

— William Sokolin

The primary purpose of wine is to make food taste better.

— Myra Waldo

As far as I am concerned, there are only two types of wine, those I like and those I don't.

— The Essential Wine Buff, edited by Jennifer Taylor, 1996.

When it comes to wine, I tell people to throw away the vintage charts and invest in a corkscrew. The best way to learn about wine is the drinking.

— Alexis Lichine.

I love everything that's old: old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.

— Oliver Goldsmith, 'She Stoops to Conquer.'

Fill ev'ry glass, for wine inspires us,
And fires us
With courage, love and joy
Women and wine should life employ.
Is there ought else on earth desirous?

— John Gay, The Beggar's Opera, 1728.

Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, Make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.

— Homer, The Odyssey.

Wine gives strength to weary men.

— Homer.

I drank at every vine.
The last was like the first.
I came upon no wine
So wonderful as thirst.

— Edna St. Vincent Millay

"When [wines] were good they pleased my sense, cheered my spirits, improved my moral and intellectual powers, besides enabling me to confer the same benefits on other people."
- George Saintsbury [1845-1913] "Notes on a Cellar Book"

"Wine is made to be drunk as women are made to be loved; profit by the freshness of youth or the splendor of maturity; do not await decrepitude."
- Theophile Malvezin

"The Spirit of Wine
Sang in my glass, and I listened
With love to his odorous music,
His flushed and magnificent song."
- William Ernest Henly

Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul, gives being to our hopes, bids the coward flight, drives dull care away, and teaches new means for the accomplishment of our wishes.

— Horace

Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1771.

I wonder what the vintners buy one half so precious as the stuff they sell.

— Omar Khayyam

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others."

— Samuel Johnson.

Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.

— Homer, 'Odyssey,' (9th c. B.C.)

When there is plenty of wine, sorrow and worry take wing.

— Ovid, 'The Art of Love,' (c. A.D. 8)

Wine is the drink of the gods, milk the drink of babes, tea the drink of women, and water the drink of beasts.

— John Stuart Blackie

If penicillin can cure those that are ill, Spanish sherry can bring the dead back to life.

— Sir Alexander Fleming

Writing in my sixty-fourth year, I can truthfully say that since I reached the age of discretion I have consistently drunk more than most people would say is good for me. Nor did I regret it. Wine has been for me a firm friend and a wise counsellor. Often...wine has shown me matters in their true perspective, and has, as though by the touch of a magic wand, reduced great disasters to small inconveniences. Wine has lit up for me the pages of literature, and revealed in life romance lurking in the commonplace. Wine has made me bold but not foolish; has induced me to say silly things but not to do them.

— Duff Cooper, 'Old Men Forget.'

From wine what sudden friendship springs!

— John Gay

Tis pity wine should be so deleterious, for tea and coffee leave us much more serious.

— Lord Byron

There is evil in every berry of grape.

— The Koran

For a bad night, a mattress of wine.

— Spanish proverb

Like the gironde that runs through the finest vines on Earth, the good wine deservingly runs through the veins of the mortal man.

— Terence Koh, 1997.

Traveller, stay thy steps,
and on the hillside contemplate these peerless vines:
They are monuments worthy of thy gaze.
Oh taste and see how delectable this pure wine,
how wondrous its bouquet,
And give praise to God, the creator of such great blessings.

— Louis Gaspard d'ESTOURNEL, 1830.

I have enjoyed great health at a great age because everyday since I can remember I have consumed a bottle of wine except when I have not felt well. Then I have consumed two bottles.

— Attributed to a Bishop of Seville.

Mankind . . . possesses two supreme blessings. First of these is the goddess Demeter, or Earth whichever name you choose to call her by. It was she who gave to man his nourishment of grain. But after her there came the son of Semele, who matched her present by inventing liquid wine as his gift to man. For filled with that good gift, suffering mankind forgets its grief; from it comes sleep; with it oblivion of the troubles of the day. There is no other medicine for misery.

— Euripides, The Bacchae, c. 407 BC.

Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.

— Sir Alexander Fleming

Wine is an appropriate article for mankind, both for the healthy body and for the ailing man.

— Hippocrates.

Wine from long habit has become an indispensable for my health.

— Thomas Jefferson

Wine is at the head of all medicines; where wine is lacking drugs are necessary.

— Babylonian Talmud: Baba Bathra.

I would think it means that she wishes you to dine with her. I'd take my own wine if I were you!

— Herod in 'I, Claudius,' (1976)

If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini.

— Chet in 'Kicking and Screaming,' (1995)

More Brandy wine? They were boiling it in Ireland before the snakes left.

— King Henry II in 'The Lion in Winter,' (1968)

Sparkling Muscatel. One of the finest wines of Idaho

— Waiter in 'The Muppet Movie,' (1979) Bridges, 1998.

I think it is a great error to consider a heavy tax on wines as a tax on luxury. On the contrary, it is a tax on the health of our citizens.

— Thomas Jefferson

Never guess at a vintage. Acknowledge you do not know, which is more often than not correct.

— Charles Walter Berry,1932.

This wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. You don't want to mix emotions up with a wine like that. You lose the taste.

— Ernest Hemingway, 1926.

When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does – faked it!

— Art Buchwald

Wine is like sex in that few men will admit not knowing all about it!

— Hugh Johnson.

Wine is only sweet to happy men.

— John Keats, 1819

It is my wish that an unforgettable wine should live on after me.

— Château Pichon Longueville Comtesse de Lalande

Wine has … inspired invention, animated religion, made men vociferous, nourished beliefs, kindled wrath, provoked love and lust and softened hard beds.

— London Times, 'Wine Merchants Uncorked'

Wine was born, not invented … like an old friend, it continues to surprise us in new and unexpected ways.

— Dr. Salvatore P. Lucia

Beer is made by men, wine by God!

— Martin Luther

Wine is made to be drunk as women are made to be loved; profit by the freshness of youth or the splendor of maturity; do not await decrepitude.

— Theophile Malvezin

I think wine has taken over from the toys of the old days like watches and cars. Wine shows you have money, but it also shows you have taste.

— Thomas Matthews

Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money?

— Milan Maximovich

Wine has been with us since the beginning of civilization. It is the temperate, civilized, sacred, romantic mealtime beverage recommended in the Bible. Wine has been praised for centuries by statesmen, philosophers, poets, and scholars. Wine in moderation is an integral part of our culture, heritage and gracious way of life.

— Robert Mondavi

Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.

— Napoleon

Clearly, the pleasures wines afford are transitory – but so are those of the ballet, or of a musical performance. Wine is inspiring and adds greatly to the joy of living.

— Napoleon

To buy very good wine nowadays requires only money. To serve it to
your guests is a sign of fatigue.

— William F. Buckley, 'Harpers Bazaar,' Sept. 1979.

Wine is an old man's milk.

— Antonio Perez

And wine can of their wits the wise beguile, Make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.

— Alexander Pope

Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

— Pope John XXIII

Wine … offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than possibly any other purely sensory thing which may be purchased.

— Ernest Hemingway

Drink wine, and live here blitheful while ye may; The morrow's life too late is, live to-day.

— Robert Herrick

Alonso of Aragon was wont to say in commendation of age, that age appears to be best in four things -old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.

— Francis Bacon, 1624

Drink wine, drink poetry, drink virtue.

— Charles Baudelaire

WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as liquor, sometimes as rum. Wine, madam, is God s next best gift to man.

— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

At a recent tasting of the wines of Château Lafite-Rothschild, … Eric de Rothschild was asked about his favorite vintage: 'The '59, he answered, if you like young wine.'

— The Official Guide to Wine Snobbery, Leonard S. Bernstein, 1982.

A man, fallen on hard times, sold his art collection but kept his wine cellar. When asked why he did not sell his wine, he said, 'A man can live without art, but not without culture'.

— Anonymous.

The First Duty of wine is to be red ... the second is to be a Burgundy.

— Harry Waugh

Wine is the drink of the gods, milk the drink of babes, tea the drink of women, and water the drink of beasts.

— John Stuart Blackie

Mr. Tulkinghorn sits at one of the open windows, enjoying a bottle of old port. Though a hard-grained man, close, dry, and silent, he can enjoy old wine with the best. He has a priceless bin of port in some artful cellar under the Fields, which is one of his many secrets. When he dines alone in chambers, as he has dined to-day, and has his bit of fish and his steak or chicken brought in from the coffee-house, he descends with a candle to the echoing regions below the deserted mansion, and, heralded by the remote reverberation of thundering doors, comes gravely back, encircled by an earthy atmosphere and carrying a bottle from which he pours a radiant nectar, two score and ten years old, that blushes in the glass to find itself so famous,and fills the whole room with the fragrance of southern grapes.

— Charles Dickens, 'Bleak House.'

"A hard drinker, being at table, was offered grapes at dessert. 'Thank you,' said he, pushing the dish away from him, 'but I am not in the habit of taking my wine in pills.'"
- "The Physiology of Taste" by Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

No nation is druken where wine is cheap, and none sober where the dearness of wine substitutes ardent spirits as the common beverage.

— Thomas Jefferson

Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age, and death. When not treated with reasonable respect it will sicken and die.

— Julia Child

Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life's most civilized pleasures.

— Michael Broadbent

Wine cheers the sad, revives the old, inspires the young, makes weariness forget his toil.

— Lord Byron

Only in regard to wine did he have no limits.

— Confucius, Analects, Book 10.

Wine, like the rising sun, possession gains, And drives the mist of dullness from the brains.

— George Crabbe

Wine … the intellectual part of the meal.

— Alexandre Dumas, 1873.

Cecil: Would you care for wine? I have an '82 Latour, and a rather indifferent Rausan-Segla.
Sideshow Bob: Cecil, I've been in prison for five years. I'll be happy as long as it doesn't taste like orange juice that's been fermented behind a radiator.
Cecil: That'd be the Latour, then.

— 'The Simpsons'

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food!

— Leslie Duncan, 1998.

To take wine into your mouth is to savor a droplet of the river of human history.

— Clifton Fadiman, N. Y. Times, 8 Mar 1987

A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserly wine lover.

— Clifton Fadiman, N. Y. Times, 8 Mar 1987

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

— Steven Wright

No nation is druken where wine is cheap, and none sober where the dearness of wine substitutes ardent spirits as the common beverage.

— Thomas Jefferson

Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.

— Benjamin Franklin

Compromises are for relationships, not wine.

— Sir Robert Scott Caywood

The First Duty of wine is to be Red...the second is to be a Burgundy

— Harry Waugh

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others.

— Samuel Johnson

From wine what sudden friendship springs!

— John Gay "The Squire and the Cur," 'Fables'.

Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age, and death. When not treated with reasonable respect it will sicken and die.

— Julia Child

Wine is made to be drunk as women are made to be loved; profit by the freshness of youth or the splendor of maturity; do not await decrepitude.

— Theophile Malvezin

Compromises are for relationships, not wine.

— Sir Robert Scott Caywood

I like best the wine drunk at the cost of others.

— Diogenes, Dictionary of Quotations, Bergen Evans, 1968.

Where there is no wine there is no love.

— Euripedes

A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserly wine lover.

— Clifton Fadiman, 1987.

[Making wine] is like having children; you love them all, but boy, are they different.

— Bunny Finkelstein

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.

— Robert Fripp

I never drink wine.

— Count Dracula in 'Dracula' (1931)

I'm drinking wine...and eating chicken! And it's good!

— Dracula in 'Dracula: Dead and Loving It' (1995)

Frasier: The wine shop called a moment ago and said they're down to their last two cases of the 82' Chambolle-Musigny. Why don't you dash right down before someone snaps them up?
Niles: You know very well that in 1982 there was a drought in Bourgogne. The locals dubbed it the Year of the Raisin.

— 'Frasier'

Niles (over latte at Cafe Nervosa) describes a trick he had played at his wine club: switching labels between a Château Pétrus and a Fourcas-Dupré.
Frasier: What scamps you are! His face must have turned redder than a Pichon-Longueville.

— 'Frasier', first season episode

A census taker once tried to test me -- I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

— Hannibal Lechter in 'The Silence of the Lambs.'

In Europe we thought of wine as something as healthy and normal as food and also a great giver of happiness and well being and delight. Drinking wine was not a snobbism nor a sign of sophistication nor a cult; it was as natural as eating and to me as necessary.

— Ernest Hemingway, 'A Moveable Feast.'

We hear of the conversion of water into wine at the marriage in Cana as of a miracle. But this conversion is, through the goodness of God, made every day before our eyes. Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, and which incorporates itself with the grapes, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.

— Ben Franklin